Marvin Gaye impersonator serenades monkeys to Just Get It On
1,8 trillion dollars are full of shit
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A zoo in UK has hired a Marvin Gaye impersonator to sing for not-fucking monkeys, which is sweet.
"We thought it could be a creative way to encourage our females to show a little affection to males that might not have been so lucky in love (…) Trentham Monkey Forest hired Dave Largie – described as ‘a highly experienced love song guru’ – to serenade a group of Barbary macaques in the hope that he could help ‘boost the monkey love’ this mating season." 🐵
I know a bunch of people who are definitely not fit for that monkey job, I can tell you that. Here’s a video:
In the land of the brave in which the bald eagle is the national bird of the united states of america, 50% of all bald eagles suffer from lead poisoning. This is what you get from unregulated gun ownership or something.
JP Morgan opens a bank office in the metaverse which is funny because they are also closing offices and lay off workers in meatspace. Meanwhile, a study found that 2% of the global GDP, or 1,8 trillion dollars, go into subsidies for “annihilation of wildlife and (the) rise in global heating”. I wonder how much of these subsidies pop up on JP Morgan bank accounts. May I remind you that all businessmen are completely full of shit.
People on reddit are competing to create the shortest ethernet-cable. The winner is a very short 1cm “cable” which is actually just two RJ-45 connectors “ass to ass”, the smallest ethernet ever.
This is happening: Cradle of Filth and Ed Sheeran are making music together.
I will say this only one time, but I want more forensic analysis of 400 year old marble skulls. “Bernini’s Death’s Head is a masterpiece of realistic hard stone carving. The life-sized skull was carved in the round from a single piece of white Carrara marble, with the mandible and cranium connected at the temporomandibular joints. It is so anatomically correct that researchers were able to study the carving to determine sex, age, pathology and ethnic origin of the subject just as if it were a real human skull.”
There’s a giant cargo ship full of 4000 Porsche and VW-cars in the Atlantic right now. Crew abandoned ship and the stuff is now “finders keepers”. In case you’re a good swimming firefighter or a Porsche Pirate and in need for a new car, this is your chance. Or maybe this is a good metaphor for our late stage capitalism facing climate change and we should let it burn burn burn 🔥 I’m open for both.
So, Snoop Dogg puffed a joint at the Superbowl and the excellent Popbitch-newsletter has a nice little story about the way of the dog: “A few summers ago, Snoop was invited to headline a corporate gig in Huntington Beach, California. Promoters were keen to make sure he didn't disrupt the delicate, professional vibe of the event so, ahead of his slot, he was told by some very stern suited types in no uncertain terms there was to be no swearing in his set and definitely no drugs. So obviously Snoop bounded onto stage with a nine inch spliff in one hand, while shouting into the mic in his other ‘...FUCK'S HAPPENIN'?’“ I feel you.
A dentist in Flagstaff dentised himself with a AI-assisted dentist-robot. I would totally dentist myself too if I had a dentist-robot and a bunch of drugs at hand, but I don’t, so I won’t.
Queen Elizabeth is launching a 10 bucks ketchup because she loves Burgers. Who doesn’t.
Here’s a generator for shitty AI-Pokémon which is a bit funny because all Pokémon are shitty anyways.
